If you saw the movie or didn’t you probably still recognize this #1 hit.
It’s epic, it’s legendary and it’s one of my all time favorite.
If you haven’t heard it, you should give it a listen now.
When I was in school I always found group projects to be funny from my point of view. There was always:
The all girls group that wanted nothing less then perfect and regardless of their focus and determination they only ever really got 80.
The slacker group that was never expected to accomplish anything and somehow smack the class with an all-nighter effort and got a 75.
The REALLY lazy group that would do their presentation the day after they were scheduled so go. Their information would be half complete. And their main resource was Wikipedia. A 50 at best.
Finally there was the group I loved and always was in. A bunch of random outsiders who didn’t want to be in any other group. We follow the expectations to the tee. Never really arranged group meet ups, just kinda divided the work on day one and came together on the presentation assignment due date and then have possible a not amazingly exciting presentation, but always a rather thorough one which would result in exactly what the teach wanted to hear. Even though lacking creativity and “jazz” to impress the classmates the knowledge always seemed to impressed the teacher which resulted in a high 90’s mark.
This is why I was such a hated student. I never tried until I felt there was a challenge. And when I did try I often would not fall short of pure success.
But then again if assignments were to easy I would often just shrug them off which would annoy teachers to no end. They see what you’re capable of and get annoyed when you fall short in the expectations.
My Tumblr is for my followers. Plain and simple.
It seems like only a few short months ago that I was scared into being strong by forces outside of my control. When I least suspected it I was hit with bad news. I guess that’s the funny part about life. When things really start going good, the bad has to swoop in and even the playing field.I suppose that’s why I am afraid to be happy sometimes. I’m afraid that if I’m to happy, life will deal me a wild card that will be a tough pill to swallow.
When the bad news of my brain tumor hit, it was right after a 2 year search for the right woman finally came to an end. She is beautiful, smart, funny, caring, faithful, loyal, cute, and above all else loving. I have been very jaded over the past 10 years with my luck that once I found this amazing woman and the bad news hit I kinda expected everything to just continue to get worse. Things did, but it was my own doing. She was being amazing and I nearly fucked it up. When we rekindled our love and continued to make things better once again life dealt a wild card and things went to shit.
I’m not sure if it’s fair for me to say it was my fault, but for the sake of my story I wish to take the blame. You see I lost sense of control mentally. I mentally blacked out, and it was like I was a different person for a week. I hurt the one person that meant the most to me after she had spent the whole summer being supportive of my fight against the tumor. She at one point took me in to her home and acted as my mental nurse.
There is never a day that goes by that I don’t hold myself responsible for everything that happened. Weather I was responsible (due to mental control) or not. I love her. It’s taken me years to really find someone I can truly say I LOVE, and I really truly care for her with every fiber of my being.
Over the past few months we’ve had our ups and downs and in the end we work things out. We realize our own stupidity some of the time and sometimes it takes hearing if from each other to realize what we’re doing and how bad it is. Recently once again I really felt things were going great and I kinda messed them up again.
Subconsciously I think its my brains fear. I’m not use to just being happy. I’m afraid to embrace it, but I don’t want to be afraid anymore. I want to make her happy and I want her and I to just be happy together. I really need to tackle this problem and I’m not sure how too. She really is the love of my life and makes me happier then anyone else and anything else in this world ever has. I can’t imagine not having her in my life.
Starting today I want to vow to never hurt her again. I want to never let her down. I want to never be afraid to be happy. I want to stop starting fights. I want everything to be better. I hope she will have faith in me. I hope she will be able to love me. I know I love her from the bottom of my heart. I hope she knows I do. I’m afraid to admit to her I was scared. I’m afraid to let her down. But I know she loves me enough to understand my fears.
In the past 7 years anytime my life looked on the up and up and I felt happy, one tragedy after another would occur. Cancer, being hit by cars, losing friends to suicide, and most importantly losing my ability to be happy. But she conquered that obstacle without a sweat. She freed my heart and opened my up to the idea of just being happy. And I’m really truly happy anytime I feel she’s near & especially anytime she IS near. I’ve always been intimidated by people about opening up and confiding in them, especially my fears. I don’t want to be afraid anymore. I don’t want to ruin what her and I have. I want to be stronger. I want to be as strong as her.
I love you Jess. That’s all there is to it. I hope this made sense.
My Halo 3 days. I love them & Miss them. They were a special time for me.